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Legend Equine Assisted Psychotherapy Blog

Please don’t leave me! We’ve all felt that way at some point or another.  From the time you’re born, there’s a need to be touched, loved and in relationship with others. 
The funny part is – there are few things so complicated OR so necessary!
These connections really are a matter of life and death. I think that’s why I find them so interesting! 
…and the cool part is, they come in all shapes in sizes. 
Whether they’re good or bad, there’s absolutely NO DOUBT that these relationships shape our lives – either by grinding us down or building us up. 
Don't Leave Me

They're also varied in terms of degree. I mean there are people you're acquainted with, people you work with and those that you'd lay down your life for.


...BUT they all make an impact on the person you are. 


So what makes our link to one stronger than another? What causes us to form bonds that last a lifetime with some people? 

I honestly lost track of the number of times I heard the word “intentionality” while reporting this piece. All it really means, Harris says, is putting effort into a relationship. And the fact of that effort is probably more important than the exact form it takes.

In a study that Harris did, the quality of the time friends spent together—specifically their self-reported depth of conversation, and the amount of self-disclosure—was linked to higher friendship satisfaction. How Friends Become Closer, the Atlantic 

Please Don't Leave - You're Part of My Heart & Soul!

You know that moment when you meet someone and the sparks just start to fly? 
…and NO this isn’t only an intimate relationship sort of thing – although I’m not excluding that. I’m simply talking about that moment when lightning strikes and you meet someone who just sort of “gets” you. 
The people you can sit and talk with for hours, yet you’re blissfully unaware of the passage of time? 
These are the friends & family members we tell our deepest, darkest secrets to. The ones who see us as we really are, not how we want to be perceived. 
This sort of synergy provides us with a strong foundation from which to launch all of our endeavors. When the going gets tough, our soulmates provide an outstretched hand – a shoulder to cry on – or a listening ear. They’re also the people we laugh hardest with and can’t wait to call when we get that promotion. 
I think that’s why the words please don’t leave me hit such a strong chord with most people. Life by nature is transient which means at the end of the day we always have to say goodbye. 

What About the Hoses? Do They Share Those Bonds? 

It’s interesting, working at the Legend Ranch allows me to see how these sort of relationships apply to our equine therapy horses.
I have a couple of examples that I’d like to share with you.
If you take a little time and sit out and watch the horses in the pasture you’ll see some pretty incredible things! I wish I could share some of these moments with you personally because they’re PURE magic!
Just yesterday I was watching the horses graze in our smaller field where the grass is a deep green and longer, which is a little bit of a treat for them!
Dont Leave
Well, typically I send Memphis and Preacher out together…
…but I decided to switch things up and sent Missy out with Preacher instead. 
Low and behold it became VERY apparent that Memphis and Preacher just didn’t like the separation.
I never heard anything quite like the neighing that ensued! 
Ha! It’s very obvious that they have a deep and meaningful relationship that I was blissfully unaware of. 
I swear it was like Memphis was yelling from across the road, PLEASE Don’t leave me! He seemed almost panicked that his companion left him behind to fend for himself.
Missy joined in a bit, but not to the extent those two were interacting. 

A Little Test for the "Please Don't Leave Me" Reaction

Dont Leave me quote
So I decided to do a little test. Do all the hoses feel this way? 
Today I put Rusty and Missy in the smaller pasture together and it was a totally different outcome. Rusty is the kind of horse that would rather just be left alone. He doesn’t really have a bonded relationship with any of the others. 
The interesting part? He didn’t pace up and down the fence line for hours neighing please don’t leave me. Rusty spent his time munching the long green grass alone in the warmth of the midday sun – quite contentedly! 
I’m not sure if I felt a little sad about this OR if I found it completely understandable. Hey, I myself enjoy my alone time and little snack whenever possible. 

Every Relationship Is Different  

Here’s my point.
These two very different reactions are connected to to the specific relationships between each horse. While Preacher and Memphis are inseparable, Rusty only seems to need the herd relationship. He’s much more independent and maintains a “we’re in this together” mindset only when he needs comfort or in times of danger. 
Now I’m not advocating that we as human beings should seek to be a Rusty, in fact, I think we all need a little Memphis in our lives.  It’s incredibly important that we have someone we can come to and say please don’t leave me. 
That being said, I think there are times and places for independence.  

Reaching That Please Don't Leave Me Place in Life

In our Equine Therapy sessions, self-assurance and confidence in one’s self is a must. These are two traits you need if you’re going to find a Memphis of your own.
…and the good news is this state of being is absolutely possible to achieve. There’s NOTHING we teach at the Legend Ranch during our sessions that isn’t completely within your reach. 
I personally enjoy the fact that we’re a stepping stone for people to get to the point where they can trust and connect with others in such way that makes this sort of relationship possible. 
Having the strength and openness to shout please don’t leave me is a huge accomplishment! 
We should all have some Memphis and Rusty in our life because balance is the key to happiness. 
Hey, maybe even good ‘ole Rusty will find his Memphis one day 😉
In the meantime, if you need some equine therapy, give us a call at the Legend Ranch! 
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Moscow, Idaho Address:
3320 Hwy 8
Moscow ID 83843

Equine Specialist Team